I have not ranted in a good long while, so:
Herewith this date, any further essays on the following topics are banned, due to my colossal lack of interest:
- Anything that mentions The Great American Novel.
- The whole literary vs genre pissing contest (or anything that mentions Jennifer Weiner).
- Too many male reviewers and/or novelists (or anything that mentions Jennifer Weiner).
- The ressentiment of the Internet/The evils of Twitter.
- The Internet has killed civility/print/attention spans.
- Democratized Self Publishing vs. Gatekeeping Traditional Publishers.
- The Ebook as a harbinger of End Days.
- The Ebook as the savior of publishing and writers.
- Why MFA programs suck.
- Why MFA programs are awesome.
Please don't get me wrong. I think that many, if not all, of these topics are of genuine importance. But I have already read your essay. I read it last year. I read it the year before. I've been reading it for the last decade. And it wasn't interesting or original then, either. So, editors, if you're thinking of assigning any of these chestnuts, seriously rethink it. And writers, if you really feel the need to wade in yet again, you sure as shit better bring something new to the discussion. Because the Internet is starting to feel like Groundhog Day on steroids.