The Elegant Variation

MOTEV CALLS ONE EARLY

These days, it's not often MOTEV gets her mitts on a book we don't have.  The conversation usually goes like this:

MOTEV (Don't forget the Austrian accent):  Maaaaark, by any chance, do you have a copy of -

TEV:  Yep.

MOTEV:  Vat "yep"?  You don't even know yet.

TEV:  Trust me.  Whatever it is, I have it. 

MOTEV:  Big shot.  Maybe this one you don't.

TEV:  Try me.

MOTEV:  [A title we have already.]  (Silence)  Fine.  Can you send it to me?

But every now and then, she beats us to one.  She's been championing Travis Holland's The Archivist's Story ever since it came out.  (We still don't have our own copy and she won't part with hers.  Dial Press, we're talking to you.)  Well, she'll be pleased to know it just won the VCU Cabell First Novelist Award.

Holland’s novel, published in June 2007 by The Dial Press, centers on Pavel, a former teacher who works in the Lubyanka prison archives in Moscow in 1939. Pavel prepares manuscripts for destruction in the service of Stalin-era limits on free expression. Then he comes across an unsigned manuscript apparently written by the famed author Isaac Babel, who has been imprisoned at Lubyanka. Pavel attempts to salvage the work, and later an additional manuscript, for posterity.

NYC EVENT - MOTEV RECOMMENDS

MOTEV - who we all know can be pickier than her son - advises us that theatre-minded New Yorkers should add Jazz Hand: Tales of a One Armed Woman to their list of Fringe festival must-sees.  The two-person sketch show, which drew the attention of Newsday, earned such MOTEV accolades as "remarkable" and "delightful." 

MOTEV'S MEME

As promised, MOTEV responds to the meme that's been making the rounds. After the gymnastics of trying to explain a meme to her, along with the usual protestations ("How can you do these things to me?"), we pried the following answers out of her.  Herewith, MOTEV's meme debut"

One book that changed your life.   

MOTEV:  Oh boy.  I don’t think there is a book that really changed my life.  There were too many things happening in our lives that changed us.

One book that you’ve read more than once. 

MOTEV:  Hmm.  The Magic Mountain.  Because when you read it when you are too young, I don’t think you get it.  And since everybody talks about it you feel later that you have to read it because you probably didn’t get it.  And then you read it again. And you get it.  Or you think you get it.  And when you think you get it, a couple of years later you realize that maybe you didn’t get it all.  So, I read it again.

One book you’d want on a desert island.   

MOTEV:  The Bible.  It has the most stories in it!

One book that made you laugh. 

MOTEV:  Oh well, that’s a Hungarian book that I read a long, long time ago and I almost got kicked out of a class in college because I was reading it under the desk and I laughed out loud, but nothing in the lecture was conducive to laughing out loud.  It’s not available in English but it’s called The 14-Karat Car.  I don’t remember the author.

One book that made you cry. 

MOTEV:  Isabel Allende’s Of Love and Shadows.  Very gut-wrenching and very sad comment on life and history and the ironies of politics.  Very true.

One book that you wish had been written. 

MOTEV:  What do you mean?

TEV:  Just what it says.  A book that doesn’t exist that you wish had been written.

MOTEV:  Well it might be written for all I know! Mark ... Let me think.  I don’t know.  I can’t come up with anything – there are so many books that have been written that I think some of them should not have been written.  It’s 86 degrees and it’s before dinner.  I’m not up to this.  One should think about this.

One book that you wish had never been written.

MOTEV:  I’m sure there is one but right now I can’t think of it.  Can I come back later?

One book you’re currently reading.

MOTEV:  Yours.  You’ll be relieved to know that’s not that the one I wish hadn’t been written.

One book you’ve been meaning to read.   

MOTEV:   Absurdistan.  The title sums up the state of the world today.  And I like his style.  He really has a feel for the absurd in the world and can express it.

MOTEV RETURNS: FORSTER, HAZZARD AND A CERTAIN LITERARY CONTROVERSY

The only thing we like more than giving away books is posting our little chats with MOTEV.  But we do try to dole them out since she's far more popular than our own caterwaulings are.  Still, we know you've been clamoring for a dose, and we managed to catch up to the busy retiree between book groups, the opera, Broadway and museum outings, and she kindly consented to give us a minutes of her time to chat books.

TEV: So what are you reading?

MOTEV: I'm finally reading Howard's End.

TEV: And?

MOTEV: I'm enjoying it so much I can't believe I never read it. I'm just loving it.  And then I thought of Shirley Hazzard's Transit of Venus, and I thought, OK she had good taste about where to borrow from. 

TEV: Borrowing is part of the game

MOTEV: That's right.  Have you read it?

TEV: Not yet.  I've had it for a while - someone I respect recommended it highly but I haven't gotten to it yet.

MOTEV: What's taking so long?

TEV:  Have you read The English Patient yet?  Which I gave you, what, seven years ago?

MOTEV:  (silence.  then:)  No comment.

TEV: Thought so.  OK, what's the book group reading?

MOTEV: We're meeting in March. We're going to read On Beauty.

TEV: Have you started it yet?

MOTEV (patiently stating the obvious to her not-too-bright son): No. I'm going to finish Howard's End first.

TEV: That's very organized of you.

MOTEV: I may not stick to it but that's the plan

TEV: OK then. So, any thoughts about the literary controversy of the day?

MOTEV: Frey?

TEV: Yeah.

MOTEV (the world's deepest long suffering sigh): I don't see what's the big ado – no one should assume that a memoir is true. One shouldn't read memoirs and assume they're true – they should read them as fiction and assume they're not true. I'm actually on his side. He misrepresented himself to the media but what he did in his book, that should be a writer's right

TEV: You should tell Oprah …

MOTEV: And this mania for "truth"? What is completely True or Not True? There should be a limit on talking about it, and anyway what about the right of the writer to do with truth whatever they want to? As long as they say that it's my version of the truth. Think about the definition of "memoir" ... Read Casanova's memoirs!

TEV: (typing quickly to keep up with her indignation) Uh huh …

MOTEV: (pause) Are your MOTEVing me?

TEV: You know, "to MOTEV" isn't actually a verb.  (pause; busted) I may be …

MOTEV: Oh please!  But this is my opinion. I thought it was fine that Oprah defended him first and then I caught the moment when she said "you mislead me" – that's stupid!  He's not on trial. He's a writer. I think the whole controversy is helping his sales. They couldn't pay for better advertisement. That's all. And next time you MOTEV me without saying so first, I'm disinheriting you.

TEV: But you guys don't have anything!

MOTEV: It's a symbolic gesture. Now go finish writing your book.  It's not a memoir, is it?

MOTEV ON THE BOOKER

Well, we could send you to additional Booker coverage at Telegraph or at the Independent or at the Irish Examiner or at the Financial Times or at the Scotsman or this John Sutherland interview (pick Wednesday; thanks Andie Miller!) but everyone else probably has those same links, and who needs those guys when we've got MOTEV, who shared her take on this year's round of nominations.

TEV: So, did you see the Booker long list was out?
MOTEV: Yes.
TEV: And what did you think of it?
MOTEV: (sniffs) All known names.
TEV: Is that good or bad?
MOTEV: (an unusually long pause, during which we imagine eyes to be narrowing) You're not MOTEVing me?
TEV: Of course not. How can I "MOTEV" you? MOTEV's not a verb.
MOTEV: Are you lying?
TEV: (pause) Maybe a little.
MOTEV: (weary sigh) I think it's not very good. It's somehow always the same people … and now I'm self-conscious because you're typing.
TEV: You’ve never been self conscious before.
MOTEV: I've never been used before. (sighs) This was my thought: it would be nice to see another name there for a change. And I have a problem with this Commonwealth thing or with English writers thing which brought to my mind that many of these writers are not English, so I don't know, what is the definition today of "English literature"? Is the language it's written in, is it geography where the writer lives? Where does it come from?
TEV: An excellent question and I have no idea. Colonies, it's all about colonies.  What do you think about the Saturday nod?
MOTEV: I told you when I read it that I didn't dislike that book.
TEV: Have you read any of the others? The Ishiguro?
MOTEV: Which is that?
TEV: Never Let Me Go.
MOTEV: No. Which are the others?
TEV: If you read my site once in a while, you'd know.
MOTEV: I didn't read your site Why don't you email it to me?
TEV: Banville is on it. Coetzee is on it, Zadie Smith is on it.
MOTEV: With what?
TEV: On Beauty. It's not out yet
MOTEV: Then how can she be on it?
TEV: That's another excellent question. Obviously, they get early copies.
MOTEV: I don't think that's fair.
TEV: Welcome to my world.  And Ali Smith – you liked Hotel World, didn't you?
MOTEV: Yes, I did, I really did. I think it was original, it grabbed me, it stayed with me.
TEV: So, it's early but do you want to handicap the winner yet?
MOTEV: I would need a little more time for that … and I don't know the works … how would I do that?
TEV: That doesn't stop most of the pundits.
MOTEV: I'm not like most of the pundits
TEV: Well I'll send you the list, and you can come back with your predictions.
MOTEV: OK.

(To be continued … )

EXCUSES, DELAYS AND MOTEV

The staggering amount of work and email generated by Friday's unveiling of the Litblog Co-op and Saturday's subsequent Los Angeles Times story has us scrambling and behind schedule today.  Our LA Times Thumbnail is in the works (and lest anyone accuse us of going soft on the Times in exchange for the nice story, fear not - the grade is a low one), as is a bunch of other interesting links we've collected.  In the meantime, we leave you with this bit of MOTEV news: She will be joining us for the May 20 John Banville reading in NYC, so come out and touch the hem.

As we persuaded her to make an appearance, we also collected these two squibs which we share now.  (We'd have gotten more but we were driving on the freeway, and so our transcription abilities were limited.)

MOTEV on the Atlantic's plan to all but eliminate fiction:  "Curtain up on the dark ages."

MOTEV on Ian McEwan's Saul Bellow appreciation: "Too bad his novels aren't as good as his criticism ... "

Check back after lunchtime for our LATBR Thumbnail, and more ...

MOTEV APPAREL

We joked about making these but then some of our demented friends actually insisted they'd wear one if we did.

And so, newly released - the "I HEART MOTEV" t-shirt ...

MOTEV UPDATE: MONDVACSINALT

We try to space out the MOTEV appearances - keeps them special and besides, there's only so much of each other we can take at a time.  But we received a bunch of insistent inquiries seeking a clearer definition of mondvacsinalt.  Who knew that would be the burning literary issue of the day?  So we picked up the phone once more and pressed the MOTEV button ...

TEV: So, I'm being pressed by my readers for a more specific definition of mondvacsinalt.

MOTEV: Oh God … (thinks) … (sighs) … Oh boy … (exasperated) Well, that's the beauty of the word, that it's very difficult to translate.

TEV: Take a stab at it

MOTEV: Created with artifice … artificially … give me a little time to come up with that … (sighs) I can't think … You know that we're snowed in here?

TEV: Then you've got time to think about it.

MOTEV: Mondvacsinalt … oh God … what would be a good English word? …. Created by words only … words without substance … maybe that's the closest to it. But don’t put that in yet … give me 10 or 15 minutes … your readers won't die of curiosity.

TEV: Ok call me back …

(15 minutes later the phone rings.)

TEV: Hello?

MOTEV: (getting right into it) Artificial, trumped up, make-believe. That's the closest I can come with it. But the flippancy of the Hungarian word --

TEV: -- Flippancy? --

MOTEV: -- yes, the wit, is missing in all of this. What, did I misuse flippancy?

TEV: No, but I thought you might have said "slippancy". Which I didn't understand.

MOTEV: Flip.

TEV: Got it.

MOTEV: Anyway, I spoke to [Hungarian Book Group Friend] and looked a few things up and that's my best shot. Is it adequate?

TEV: It will do nicely, thanks.

MOTEV RETURNS: McEWAN, AUSTER, HAZZARD AND CONTEMPORARY LIT

We finally caught back up with MOTEV who's been keeping a full reading list between her two reading groups and was, as always, eager to vent with us.  For those of you new to MOTEV (Mother of The Elegant Variation), she's a former professor of German literature.  It helps to imagine her pronouncements delivered with a Viennese accent.

TEV: Hey did you ever finish Enduring Love?

MOTEV: (exasperated) No.  I just can't.

TEV: Why not?

MOTEV: I just can't get into it …  It annoys me and I don't enjoy reading it.  And I said, you know what?  I don't enjoy this. So I stopped.  I got maybe one-third through.

TEV: What did you hate about it?

MOTEV: Everything

TEV: That's specific and helpful.

MOTEV: OK.  I don't like the characters. The characters so annoy me.  The beginning, this whole balloon .. the whole scene is mondvacsinalt … (TEV Note: A Hungarian expression that eludes translation.)

TEV: Let me see if I can figure that out … "says what's it's doing"?

MOTEV: No.  Well, it's pretentious.  It's artificial.  I just can't get into it.  Nothing.  Except chapter five where he talks about the narratives of science, that was interesting.  For that I had to read 80 pages?  (sighs) I'm probably missing something.  He's some people's favorite author, the big cheese in contemporary literature, and I can't get friendly with him.  He doesn't sound real to me. Everything is cerebral and not real.

TEV: Have you read anything else of his?

MOTEV: I read Amsterdam which I thought was witty in a macabre way.  And Atonement.

TEV: What did you think of Atonement?

MOTEV: Too long, too verbose.  I didn't think much of that either.  Sorry.  I can see I'm falling off my pedestal in great leaps and bounds.

TEV: (gasping) Not at all.

MOTEV: Not my writer for sure.  Shirley Hazzard on the other hand in Transit of Venus – now that to me is writing.

TEV: You know I like her, too.

MOTEV: Writers where I feel that the word comes  from within, not just from the typewriter.

TEV: So what's up next?  Who dares mount the scaffold next?

MOTEV: (laughs) What are we doing this weekend?  Oracle Night …

TEV: Auster.

MOTEV: Yes. Another I feel he can write but he is, a what is he, a stylistic juggler –

TEV: - which you don't care for.

MOTEV: I don't know.  I read all of that book.  It didn't annoy me as much as Enduring Love did.  And I also read that Dog at Midnight book …

TEV: Oh, The Curious Incident.  And?

MOTEV: Charming,  I like it.  The language retains the mentality of the boy, doesn't want to be clever doesn't want to be, what, fireworks of words and whatnot . .. it is very honest and true sounding from the voice point of view.

TEV: Well I liked that book a lot.

MOTEV: (basta) So that's where it's at.

TEV: Thanks.  And I have my next MOTEV column.

MOTEV: (pause) You're writing this down again?

TEV: Of course.

MOTEV: (sighs) Mark I will not be allowed into Barnes and Noble if you go on like this!

TEV: Thank you.

MOTEV: Mark, you are dangerous.  I am going to stop talking to you on the phone.  I'm putting your alleged father on the phone.

MOTEV REVIEWS THE RUSSIAN DEBUTANTE'S HANDBOOK

We recently caught up with MOTEV, who just finished Gary Shteyngart's The Russian Debutante's Handbook for her reading group.  (She's actually in two book groups – Group A and Group B, which is only slightly important to know in what follows.)

TEV:  So what did you think of the Shtyengart?

MOTEV:  (suspicious) Am I on the record?

TEV: Your son is a blogger.  You're always on the record.

MOTEV:  (resigned sigh)  I enjoyed it.  I had so much fun with that book, with all its shortcomings - which it does have.  It's a long time since I read a book laughing out loud.  He's tremendously talented - he just grabbed too much.  He's trying to pull together America and post-Berlin Wall Europe at the end of the millennium. It was a courageous attempt. And there are passages that take your breath away.  The only sensible thing I found to say about Auschwitz, I found in two sentences in this book.  So I'm waiting to see what he comes up with next.

TEV: Cool.

MOTEV:  His sense of the absurd is definitely Russian-tainted – He reminded me of Bulgakov and Gogol and the American people in Group A, they had trouble with this book.  Out of sixteen four of us liked it.

TEV: Wow

MOTEV: Yes, right.  But I said you need to have a sense of the absurd.

TEV: It's usually the other way around with you – you're the one who doesn't like it.

MOTEV:  I knew this group would have trouble with it.   The facilitator was talking about deconstruction and the novel … which was stretching this book a little too far.  He was trying to give a madcap almost cartoon-like – but better than cartoon-like – picture of America and the immigrant America, and the ones who live there wanting to become American, and when you realize you can't become American, and then you go to Europe but you feel American.

TEV:  OK, I'm confused.

MOTEV: (plowing ahead)  It smells very strongly autobiographical.  Almost making fun of the fact that the novel starts when he's 25 and ends when he's 30 – like the famous five-year plans of the Stalin area.  It's about how do you plan your life, how do you become American, how do you become an adult?  With a tremendous amount of Eastern Europe and Mafia thrown in.  One character, an ex-apparatchik and spy is out of work after the fall of the wall, and they hook up and go into business.  It is so Hungary and so Czech –

TEV:  (startled)  Did you just say "hook up?"

MOTEV:  (defensive) Yes.  Why is it wrong?

TEV:  No.  It's unusually hip of you.

MOTEV:  OK I'll get a new fixture.  But now I'm on with my son.  (We were confused until we realized that she had begun talking to the electrician without advising us.)  Mark, you're not quoting me there, are you?  I'll kill you.

TEV:  Um, maybe just a little.

MOTEV:  And another thing.  No more unauthorized photos – you're violating my privacy.

TEV: So just authorize the one I used.  It's the only one I have anyway.

MOTEV:  I never threatened to disown you but if there's one more picture of me out there in the world, on the internet, that's what I'll do.  It can only be an authorized picture.

TEV: But [a MOTEV friend] said she loved it.

MOTEV: Well what does she know?

TEV:  So what's next?

MOTEV:  Group B is starting Waiting for the Barbarians, and the next on Group B is Gunter Grass' Crabwalk, which I already read and just have to refresh for the discussion.

TEV:  Sounds good.

MOTEV:  Well, I thought the book was fun.  And after it I wanted to read Arthur Phillips Prague to see how the two writers treat the same time period.  And Everything is Illuminated, too.  But then I decided that's a bit too much of the same subject for me.

TEV:  Gotcha.  OK, we'll talk soon.  Bye.

MOTEV:  Bye.