We finally caught back up with MOTEV who's been keeping a full reading list between her two reading groups and was, as always, eager to vent with us. For those of you new to MOTEV (Mother of The Elegant Variation), she's a former professor of German literature. It helps to imagine her pronouncements delivered with a Viennese accent.
TEV: Hey did you ever finish Enduring Love?
MOTEV: (exasperated) No. I just can't.
TEV: Why not?
MOTEV: I just can't get into it … It annoys me and I don't enjoy reading it. And I said, you know what? I don't enjoy this. So I stopped. I got maybe one-third through.
TEV: What did you hate about it?
MOTEV: Everything
TEV: That's specific and helpful.
MOTEV: OK. I don't like the characters. The characters so annoy me. The beginning, this whole balloon .. the whole scene is mondvacsinalt … (TEV Note: A Hungarian expression that eludes translation.)
TEV: Let me see if I can figure that out … "says what's it's doing"?
MOTEV: No. Well, it's pretentious. It's artificial. I just can't get into it. Nothing. Except chapter five where he talks about the narratives of science, that was interesting. For that I had to read 80 pages? (sighs) I'm probably missing something. He's some people's favorite author, the big cheese in contemporary literature, and I can't get friendly with him. He doesn't sound real to me. Everything is cerebral and not real.
TEV: Have you read anything else of his?
MOTEV: I read Amsterdam which I thought was witty in a macabre way. And Atonement.
TEV: What did you think of Atonement?
MOTEV: Too long, too verbose. I didn't think much of that either. Sorry. I can see I'm falling off my pedestal in great leaps and bounds.
TEV: (gasping) Not at all.
MOTEV: Not my writer for sure. Shirley Hazzard on the other hand in Transit of Venus – now that to me is writing.
TEV: You know I like her, too.
MOTEV: Writers where I feel that the word comes from within, not just from the typewriter.
TEV: So what's up next? Who dares mount the scaffold next?
MOTEV: (laughs) What are we doing this weekend? Oracle Night …
TEV: Auster.
MOTEV: Yes. Another I feel he can write but he is, a what is he, a stylistic juggler –
TEV: - which you don't care for.
MOTEV: I don't know. I read all of that book. It didn't annoy me as much as Enduring Love did. And I also read that Dog at Midnight book …
TEV: Oh, The Curious Incident. And?
MOTEV: Charming, I like it. The language retains the mentality of the boy, doesn't want to be clever doesn't want to be, what, fireworks of words and whatnot . .. it is very honest and true sounding from the voice point of view.
TEV: Well I liked that book a lot.
MOTEV: (basta) So that's where it's at.
TEV: Thanks. And I have my next MOTEV column.
MOTEV: (pause) You're writing this down again?
TEV: Of course.
MOTEV: (sighs) Mark I will not be allowed into Barnes and Noble if you go on like this!
TEV: Thank you.
MOTEV: Mark, you are dangerous. I am going to stop talking to you on the phone. I'm putting your alleged father on the phone.
Where can one locate MOTEV, I mean in the blogosphere? (please read this question with a Slavic/New Jersey accent). Not that I don't enjoyt your site, TEV. It's just that MOTEV has all those years of experience (and observation of you), to speak of.
Posted by: DarkoV | March 08, 2005 at 05:50 AM
Well, I disagree with MOTEV as to the merits of Enduring Love, but I respect her critical judgment and honesty. How about interviewing your alleged father?
Posted by: Jimmy Beck | March 08, 2005 at 06:53 AM
I heart MOTEV. Totally ON about Enduring Love. Blaahahah. Unfortunately I didn't stop reading it until the end. I gagged down every word. I wish I had known MOTEV back then. Can we have more of her????
Posted by: Annette | March 08, 2005 at 07:11 AM
She's awesome! I see a cult following in the future.
Posted by: Alex | March 08, 2005 at 08:51 AM
"Alleged father" = inside joke or allusion to Oskar Matzerath/Bronski, protagonist of Gunther Grass' "The Tin Drum"?
Posted by: Laura | March 08, 2005 at 08:51 AM
That was just great.
I'm now filled with the desire to talk about books in a Viennese accent and utter "Mondvacsinalt!" at every given opportunity.
Posted by: Justine | March 08, 2005 at 09:01 AM
I guess you can feel lucky she didn't rag on Banville.
Posted by: Annette | March 08, 2005 at 09:08 AM
Well, I'm a bigfan of Ian McEwan's, but your mother made me laugh out loud -- always a good start for the day.
Posted by: Frances | March 08, 2005 at 09:45 AM
Finallly, somebody who will say McEwan is a pain in the ass, and becoming increasingly so. I could translate mondvacsinait, but it would be wrong.
Posted by: John Shannon | March 08, 2005 at 09:53 AM
I so ♥ the MOTEV.
And tossed Atonement across the room about halfway through.
Posted by: Jessica | March 08, 2005 at 10:25 AM
how about a half-assed attempt at defining "Mondvacsinalt"?
Posted by: Lola | March 08, 2005 at 12:53 PM
More, please! :)
Posted by: amcorrea | March 08, 2005 at 01:11 PM
I love MOTEV! "Transit of Venus--now that to me is writing." More, please. More on big cheeses and the word coming from within, not just from the typewriter. And more often.
Posted by: valerie | March 08, 2005 at 02:33 PM
Your mama is a charmer. But, man, I'm dying of curiosity about "alleged" father. Like, does she call him that when she's mad at him? Or is it a long-standing, hardly-even-noticed-anymore reference to an alternate supplier of the DNA?
Posted by: Karen | March 08, 2005 at 04:18 PM
She sounds like a great woman and is an excellent judge of literature too. Charmante. I doubt very much my kids will ever print my conversations - obviously MOTEV doesn't crave notoriety as much as some of the rest of us!
Posted by: genevieve | March 08, 2005 at 04:58 PM
Love your ma. I thought I was the only who hated Atonement. Can MOTEV write a "Favorite Book" list?Please provide phonetic pronunciation of "Mondvacsinalt!"
Posted by: Janet | March 09, 2005 at 07:59 PM
I love McEwan, and I agree that, after a magnificent beginning, Enduring Love, fails to deliver. Has anyone attempted Saturday yet?
Posted by: AF | March 30, 2005 at 05:51 PM