I just finished Stumbling On Happiness by Daniel Gilbert which I enjoyed, though it was a little redundant after a bit. It's not a self-help book; it's more a book about the science of happiness. Anyway, it got me thinking about writers and happiness.
It's really confusing to me but almost every writer I know is less happy after they publish a book then before. In fact, it would seem like publishing makes people miserable. Every person I tell this to who hasn't published a book shakes their head and insists, rather vehemently, that they will be the exception to this. It's like they don't believe me.
I've theorized that what it's really about is anticipation; that happiness is anticipation, looking forward to things. The completion therefore is always anti-climactic. It goes a long way toward explaining why so few writers publish more than two books. Once you know the experience and have confirmed it, you have nothing to look forward to, little left in the way of pleasure to squeeze from the experience. And for many others who continue to write after their second book, it becomes a job rather than a pleasure.
Daniel Gilbert suggests that happiness cannot be measured outside of context. In other words, we may think we are happier now that we are making more money for example, but there's actually no way to know for sure. Anyway, this got me thinking about how publishing a book has made my life better. For the past six years I've cobbled together a crappy living from writing or from jobs enabled by writing; ie. teaching. And this is good for me because I've never been able to hold a job. In fact, last time I counted, I had been fired twelve times. And though publishing eight books (4 novels, 1 campaign diary, 1 book of stories, and 2 anthologies with another on the way) has not made me so much money that I could afford to say, live alone- still, moving furniture was not good for my back and my long term prospects as a waiter were pretty lousy on account of my inconsistent attitude. I've met a lot of great, interesting people who have or are changing the world. I would list them but it would come off as name dropping, which is exactly what it would be. More important than the rest is that as a writer I'm constantly engaged with the world.
Wait, I'm getting sappy. Let me backtrack for a second and stay honest, which is how I started this essay. Being a writer has gotten me laid, many times. And I've gone to a bunch of kickass parties. Plus, I get free books in the mail all the time.
Often times I feel underappreciated (what do you mean the New York Times isn't reviewing my book? Two reviews on Amazon? The Toronto Now said what?) or underpaid ($200 for a book review that took two weeks to write? I went to Gaza and all I got was my expenses covered). On the other hand, sometimes I feel very appreciated, check out the LA Weekly! And who cares about making money, how many white Americans get to go to Gaza and learn about the occupation from the ground?
I'm not sure what point I'm making here, but there are two things I currently believe: 1. I'm very very lucky. 2. No matter what I had done with my life, other than having children or getting married, I'm reasonably certain that I would be no more or less happy than I am right now.
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