Early in "Fast Lanes," the narrator learns that her father is sick, and she needs to get across the country. A young man named Thurman offers her a ride. There is sexual tension between them, and also a hint of menace. (Thurman is a stranger, after all, and the narrator is contemplating a long car trip with him.) They are discussing arrangements when the narrator says, "Thurman, is this a kissy-poo number?" I could spend an hour talking about this sentence alone. In the most basic sense, the narrator is asking Thurman whether he expects her to sleep with him. But "Thurman, is this a kissy-poo number?" is so different in tone and effect from "Thurman, do you expect me to sleep with you?" or "Thurman, are you telling me you think I'm going to screw you?" that it changes the scene entirely. The tenuous balance of control between the characters, the way "number" places the power in Thurman's hands even while undercutting that power, the way "kissy-poo" is both flirtatious and emasculating, even the way the word "Thurman" at the beginning of the sentence adds tension by creating the slightest pause--all this has a profound impact.
I have my students rewrite passages of published work such that the content, narrowly construed, remains the same but the word choice, the tone, is sufficiently different to change the meaning of the passage.
Comments