The Elegant Variation: Present-Tense Stories

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November 12, 2007

Present-Tense Stories

Back when I was in graduate school (early nineties) present-tense stories were the rage (this was the heyday of Raymond Carver, Anne Beattie, Bobby Ann Mason, Mary Robison, etc), and though such stories are less common than they once were, they're still common enough. I'm not one to rail against the use of the present tense (How can I? I'm midway through a new novel that's told in present tense), but I think it's dangerous territory. Specifically, the present tense is supposed to convey a sense of immediacy: you're right here, right now. But if that's the case, why is it that every year when I read MFA applications I find that the present-tense stories feel least immediate?

The reason, I believe, is that present tense is too often used as a cover for a story where nothing is happening. The writer believes (usually subconsciously) that the present tense will make up for a lack of narrative. But it won't. And one of the things I've noticed is how easily the writer will slide into general time. "I go to the store" can mean one of two things. It can mean something immediate: I am going to the store right now, on Monday, to pick up some milk. And it can mean something not immediate: I am a habitual store-goer. Well, in many present-tense stories, I see a whole lot of habitual action and not much action in real time. There's room in fiction for habitual action, of course, but there shouldn't be so much habitual action that it overtakes and overwhelms the action that's taking place in specific time. And though this is a problem that's especially characteristic of present-tense stories, it's not unique to them. Habitual action gets conveyed in past tense stories with the word "would." "I would go to the store." In fact, it's worth doing a computer search of your stories to see how often the word "would" comes up. If you start seeing it multiple times in every paragraph, odds are you have a problem on your hands.

Posted at 06:46 PM in Guest Bloggers | Permalink

Comments

Holy crap, Mark - - everyone in my workshop writes in the present tense. It's driving me crazy!

Posted by: Tony | March 05, 2008 at 09:27 PM

I think you're right about people using present-tense to subconsciously make up for stories wherein nothing happens. It allows people to write stories without having anything happen in them, yet still they have the excuse that "it's immediate."
What I'm trying to discern is when it's better to use present tense over past tense.

Posted by: Carl Duzett | April 11, 2008 at 08:59 AM

I just naturally write in the present tense -- it's the way my brain works; the way most stories flow out of me, naturally. I didn't notice I did it, until a fellow student in the 2nd year of my writing course pointed it out. It was not a criticism -- he just wanted me to realise it and choose it deliberately, not by habit.

Nowadays, after the first draft, if the story is better served by past-tense/general time, I will revise for that. But most times not.

I guess what I am saying is that if the story is well crafted, well narrated... just a 'good' story, either present tense or general time will do it justice.

Do what works for you and keeps you writing.

I think readers who say "oh this drives me mad" or "oh please switch to past tense" are sometimes just reaching for something critical to say. I doubt most readers notice it as a device if it is executed well.

It's like what someone once said about filmmaking: if you leave a film and say, "Nice cinematography," then the filmmakers didn't do their job. If you leave saying, "Great film," and all the crafts and techniques meld togeather seamlessly, then they did their job. Same for the tenses and pov... etc, etc... I believe.

Posted by: Dena J. | May 07, 2008 at 10:33 AM

I have a question, and I am sure it seems elementary but I am struggling with it. It may be that I am obsessing, or I have spent too much time with my book to be able to look at it objectively, but I have a book that is written in the third person, and it is telling the story of something that happened in the recent past. I know I need to use past tense for the book, but it doesn't seem to fit when I am describing, for instance, what the main character sees when she walks into her new home. She is performing actions as we are reading, but because I am telling a story about something that has already happened, how do I write it so that it makes sense. An example, 'She opened the fourth drawer and finds hair spray, gel, mousse, leave-in conditioner, body lotions, body powder, and a few other miscellaneous beauty products as well. She puts her hairbrush back into her purse and pushes the chair back..' I am wondering how to tell the story in the past tense, third party while still taking the readers through the main character's experiences.

Posted by: Joey | July 14, 2008 at 09:28 AM

I have started a story in the present tense I am considering converting to past, because it is a long story (about 40 pgs) and contains little backstory. I suspect that present tense works better with stories that contain considerable backstory because the backstory is told in past tense. Example: Ellen loops the strap of her bag over the back of her chair and lifts her latte from her tray. She has just returned to New York from L.A. where she edited silly specious screenplays for five years.
However, I think that without backstory the immediacy of present tense in sentence after sentence in a long story can overwhelm the reader. Comments?

Posted by: paul | August 11, 2008 at 07:07 AM

To Joey
Here's two examples of how to improve the story:

1# Past tense
'She opened the fourth drawer and found hair spray, gel, mousse, leave-in conditioner, body lotions, body powder and a few other miscellaneous beauty products as well. She put her hairbrush back into her purse and pushed the chair back..'

2# Present tense
'She opens the fourth drawer and finds hair spray, gel, mousse, leave-in conditioner, body lotions, body powder, and a few other miscellaneous beauty products as well. She puts her hairbrush back into her purse and pushes the chair back...'

I think your problem is mixing tense; sometimes it's as if the character is acting in the moment, putting something in a drawer, then later has already put something into the drawer. Decide on which tense to use and just make sure you're using that same tense throughout the whole piece and, whichever you decide to use, it should make sense.

Posted by: Tarryn | February 25, 2009 at 05:02 PM

Hi, have a recently completed book of which a publisher has recently perused a few chapters and has requested the full manuscript. They suggest that I restructure the complete book before sending as the first tow paragraphs were past tense and then the third present and this pattern (disconcertly) generally repeated. I noted other authors sometimes us present tense around content of Speech. Would this be the norm and correct or should any follow through be also past tense. E.g. 'You shoudn't much listen to all you hear Sandyman'said the Gaffer, who did not much like the miller 'There isn't no call to go talking of pushing and pulling.' (Cortesy J.R.R. Tolkein)Also is it everappropriate to change tenses in a paragraph or even a sentence to one and back again if it sounds right contextually, or is this a no-no. Apreciate any advice. Thanks struggling writer. Col.

Posted by: Col. J. MeEwen | June 25, 2010 at 09:20 PM

It's good but firstly if you write a smaal stories in a present tense more we can understand well. after you write them in future as well as past. then we can understand very clearly please.
thank you very much
hemali

Posted by: hemali | July 25, 2010 at 04:46 PM

This was surprisingly helpful, After i read this site, i scannned through my story, and it did seem like i was just using it to make up for a lack of narrative. I probably wouldnt have picked up on it otherwise.

Posted by: Jodieee | October 14, 2010 at 06:44 PM

Tenses are tricky. I have the tendency to write all my stories in past tense, for I always think of story as something that has already happened. But occasionally I will write in present and struggle to stop myself from slipping into past. E.g. "Bats make Michael uncomfortable, especially when he encounters them in the attic." Later on in the story I write: "He[Michael] sat down at the restaurant and studied the faces of the other patrons." I have a tendency to want to begin sentences with he and they seem to be commonly followed by an adjective with an "ed" ending, not mention, in the above example, the word "sat" is also past tense. My question is how do I convert sentences that would normally begin with the pronouns he/she into present tense sentences and still convey the same image?

Posted by: Chris | May 20, 2011 at 10:50 AM

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The Elegant Variation is "Fowler’s (1926, 1965) term for the inept writer’s overstrained efforts at freshness or vividness of expression. Prose guilty of elegant variation calls attention to itself and doesn’t permit its ideas to seem naturally clear. It typically seeks fancy new words for familiar things, and it scrambles for synonyms in order to avoid at all costs repeating a word, even though repetition might be the natural, normal thing to do: The audience had a certain bovine placidity, instead of The audience was as placid as cows. Elegant variation is often the rock, and a stereotype, a cliché, or a tired metaphor the hard place between which inexperienced or foolish writers come to grief. The familiar middle ground in treating these homely topics is almost always the safest. In untrained or unrestrained hands, a thesaurus can be dangerous."

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The Elegant Variation

A Literary Weblog.
A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog
"Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

November 12, 2007

Present-Tense Stories

Comments

MY NOVEL

WORTHY READINGS

TEV DEFINED

RECOMMENDED

THIS GUN FOR HIRE:
Reviews & Criticism

SECOND LOOK

Categories

The Elegant Variation

A Literary Weblog. A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog "Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

November 12, 2007

Present-Tense Stories

Comments

MY NOVEL

WORTHY READINGS

TEV DEFINED

RECOMMENDED

THIS GUN FOR HIRE: Reviews & Criticism

SECOND LOOK

Categories

A Literary Weblog.
A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog
"Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

THIS GUN FOR HIRE:
Reviews & Criticism