March 30, 2009



My condolences, Mark.

béatrice Mousli

Condolences, Mark. And thanks for such a wonderful post, that make him real for all of us who never met him... It is not an easy art.

Emerson Zora

I send thoughts of peace to you and your family. May the spirit of your father always live in your heart.

Emerson Z. Hamsa


My best to you and your family....

BC Silvia

My deepest condolences. And thank you for sharing part of his story with us.

Ken Rudman

My condolences, Mark, it sounds like your dad was a real mentsch. His son, too.

Daniel Olivas

That is a wonderful photo of your dad with the sports car. My thoughts are with you and your family, Mark.


My condolences, Mark. And thank you for sharing this post, which if i may guess must have felt quite strange and intimate at the same time while writing it.


So sorry to hear this. Thanks for telling us about him, and his fine end. Take care, Mark.

Robert Stuart

Thinking of you Mark.

Shane Breslin


I am just a sporadic visitor to your wonderful blog. It has sent me towards Josh Ferris (exceptional), Benjamin Black (Banville should stick to what he does best) and Rob Riemen (which remains, shamefully, buried in my to-read pile).

I offer my sorrow to you on your great loss, and congratulate you for putting the essence of a relationship into so few words. It, like live and everything else, is a gift.



My deepest condolences, Mark. It sounds as though your father passed on knowing he was loved, and in peace. This may be little consolation to you and your family at the moment, but it's to the credit of all of you.


I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Best wishes.


I am so sorry for your loss, Mark.


I'm so sorry about your father, Mark. Thinking of you, here in Paris.


I am so sorry. I lost my mother recently, on February 12. It sounds as if your father passed peacefully.


Thank you, Mark, for posting so generously about your father. The pictures are lovely. I am so sorry he has left you, but so glad that he was able to go without pain and with some measure of choice (and with such love around him). Be well.

Martha Southgate

I'm very sorry for your loss, Mark. You've written a beautiful memorial and your father was lucky to have you all--as you were lucky to have him. Take care.

Frank Wilson

You and your family have my deepest sympathy, Mark. What you have written is lovely.

Michael O'D

There's a haunting piece of music by Samuel Barber I would commend to you called "Knoxville: Summer of 1915" that is in many ways about children and their parents. I'm very sorry to hear about your father, and hope this portion of its text, written by James Agee, can offer some comfort:

"By some chance, here they are, all on this earth; and who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth, lying, on quilts, on the grass in a summer evening, among the sounds of the night. May God bless my people, my uncle, my aunt, my mother, my good father, oh, remember them kindly in their time of trouble; and in the hour of their taking away."


I'm so sorry for your loss, Mark. I'm glad you were able to be with him. Take care of yourself.


Your dad would have felt honored by everything about this post.

All my love to you and your family, Mark. I look forward to your next visit, under happier circumstances.

Carolyn Kellogg

My thoughts are with you, Mark, and my deepest regrets.

Cindy and Luis Urrea

Mark, you pay such tribute to your father that you move us all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


My sympathies, Mark, for such a loss. Take care of yourself.


"We are our parent's continuation. Whenever we miss one of our parents, we need only look into our own hands and we will see them there."

-Thich Nhat Hahn

Kristina Riggle

A beautiful and moving tribute. Well done.

My condolences.

Edan Lepucki

My condolences to you and your family, Mark. Thanks for a beautiful post.


Condolences, my friend.


Peace be with you, Mark.

Tony Eprile

Wishing you and the family courage and strength in this sad time. Celebrate your father's life, and make sure to keep some of the clothes/objects you associate with him. These mementos become more important with time.


I am so sorry to hear about this, Mark. Losing a parent -- or any family member -- is the hardest thing in the world, even if they have lived a long life. How wonderful that he got to see your novel published. You wrote a beautiful post. My deepest condolences.


Mark, so sorry about your father. This is a very moving tribute to him. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

Antoine Wilson

A beautiful post, Mark. Especially significant to me as my father is also 81, born in 1927, and went from the ER to the ICU yesterday...

My thoughts are with you.

Philip Smithers

my condolences Mark.

It's never easy losing a family member, take solace in the fact that you got to say goodbye.


My deepest condolences Mark.


Mark, I am very sorry for your loss, but how wonderful that you were able to spend those last moments together. My father passed away several years ago without my being able to tell him everything he meant to me, which I'll always regret.


Mark, I have been lurking on your blog for some time, thanks to Google Reader. My condolences to you and your family at this sad time. This post is a wonderful tribute to your father.

Erika D.

I am very sorry for your loss, Mark, and I thank you for the tribute to your dad that you have posted here and shared with us.

Jim H.


You said it so well: "to say everything that needed to be said." There's great comfort in the thought that we live our lives and pass on, leaving no unresolved conflicts with or for our loved ones—in peace. Never take that for granted. Condolences.

Jim H.


Lovely post, wonderfully vivid photos. An immense loss indeed. I'm so sorry.

E. Christopher Clark

What a moving and beautiful portrait. My thoughts are with you, Mark. Take care of yourself.


My condolences to you.


I'm sorry to hear this. This post was a lovely tribute - thank you for sharing some of your father and family life with us.


I am so sorry for your loss, Mark. This post is a brave, glorious tribute to your father's life.

Thanks for sharing this with everyone.


Alas, I have little to offer save a reiteration of what others have said, including condolences and sympathy. I don't know why, but your posts reminds me of this passage from a book you will probably recognize:

"Life, authentic life, is supposed to be all about struggle, unflagging action and affirmation, the will butting its blunt head against the world's wall, suchlike, but when I look back I see that the greater part of my energies was always given over to the simple search for shelter, for comfort, for, yes, I admit it, for cosiness."

Perhaps the commenters here will give you some measure of comfort.

Duncan Murrell

I'm very sorry Mark, though I'm glad you shared those thoughts about your father. You, your father, and your family are in my prayers.

Warren Stewart

I am so sorry for your loss.What a wonderful relationshp!Peace.

Rachael King

Condolences Mark. My own dear Dad died five years ago on March 30th, very suddenly by accident, and I wish I could have had some time to say good-bye or to prepare. I'm glad you got that time with yours.



My sympathies, may he rest in peace.


A moving tribute. Condolences, Mark.


A proud father rests easy, I believe. When we do our parents proud, there's little else left to do, but carry on.

Take heart in being a good son who did his father proud.

bert hirsch

may you be blessed with fond memories and experiences.

Mark Barr

Condolences, Mark.


My thoughts and sympathies are with you, Mark! I am very sorry for your loss. This post is a very well-written memorial, and would make your dad proud.


I'm so sorry about your loss, Mark. You and yours are in my thoughts.

John Shannon

Cry a bit, Mark. Maybe a lot. We're all smaller when our fathers die. All the best.


My father, too, had renal failure and was on dialysis for seven years. He was blessed with a new kidney four years ago, but knows his time will again come. I understand what it's like to see a parent struggling and deteriorating while waiting for a transplant. I don't yet know though, what it is like to lose a parent. Thank you for telling us about your father, and my deepest sympathies.
Angela Meyer


Dear Mark,
I've never once commented here on TEV, though I do check this blog out faithfully each and every day, and often enjoy what you write/post.

But checking in to see if you had been able to return to posting yet, I found your "In Memoriam" this evening, and just wanted to offer a few feeble, but deeply felt, words. My condolences to you and your family.

Having recently watched Synecdoche, New York, and facing my own incipient middle age (along with the retirement of my parents, etc. etc. etc.), I find myself contemplating death more often lately. Your tribute here to your father is simply lovely, and obviously holds deep, deep meaning and true sincerity.

Somehow I also find myself thinking of the last words of the final story in David Foster Wallace's Girl With Curious Hair: "You are loved."



Condolences, Mark. A beautiful, beautifully written eulogy.


My thoughts are with you and your family. My mother was on dialysis for several years before she passed away, so I know what it's like. I know when my mother died I was just thankful that she was at peace, that she wasn't in pain anymore.


Many, many thanks to every one of you who has left wishes here. I'm deeply moved by your comments and wish I could acknowledge each one individually - I hope I will be forgiven a blanket thank you, but I am touched beyond words.


Thank you for sharing this moment with us in such a beautiful way. My condolences to you and your family.
Madeleine, Switzerland


My deepest condolences to you and your family. Thank you for the beautiful photos and touching words.


The hospice says it happens all the time. They wait to be alone, and for the moon.


My condolences. Your father sounds like a great man.


I'm very sorry to hear it, Mark, but I'm glad you had a chance to say goodbye the way you did. Like you said, no small thing.

Sinéad Gleeson

Sincere condolences Mark. What a lovely tribute.


My deepest of condolences, Mark.


My best wishes to you and your family Mark. I hope that the photos of your father and his car make you smile though, as they've made me smile here -- to think of the joy the MG and certain aspects of his life (you, for instance) must have brought him. Gone, but never gone.

Michelle Huneven

Such a lovely, moving tribute. And a great photo. I send you condolences, Mark.


No matter how much foreknowledge you have, loss of someone you love is inevitably new and surprising. I wish you many memories while you mourn, and my deep sympathy.

David Worsley

What a fine tribute, Mark. I'm very sorry for your loss. Your father sounded like a fine man.


I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that your father was able to say everything he needed to say to you and your family.


Sad news, mark. I'll raise a pint of Guinness to Michael Sarvas in Dublin tonight.

Larry Olson


My deepest sympathies to you and your family.

Larry Olson

Grierson Huffman

Condolences, Mark.


My condolences Mark. I am very sorry for your loss.

Florence Halbright

I was so sorry to learn of your father's passing today at the bridge club where I knew, and occasionally played bridge with him. He was a lovely man, a true gentleman and more than worthy of the beautiful tribute you wrote about him. Everyone was sorry to hear the sad news.

My condolences to you and your family. May you be comforted by happy memories.

Florence Halbright

Nikola Lukanc

Sincere condolences.

Nikesh Murali

My Condolences, I wept for you mate.

Brady Westwater

How very sad and yet how very inspiring at the same time.

A. Jay Adler

Mark, you write, "For more than forty years of my life, the world has been configured one way, defined by his seemingly immutable presence, and now, all at once, it is unrecognizably another." It is also unalterably another. It is one of the metamorphoses, and you are forever changed. My best to you and your family.




I sat vigil over my father during his last hours, quietly saying, as you did, "It's all right, go in peace and rest." He slipped away when I stepped out of the room.

Thank you for your post, and my condolences.


Kevin Smokler

I'm so sorry, my friend. Thoughts are with you and your family.

John Freeman

I'm deeply saddened to hear this Mark -- my condolences to you and your family.

rand gartman

You never knows who will touch you.
Strangely enough, it might be the plumber!
Thank you for sharing a little bit of Michael's life with us. I will miss him too.

Alvy Singer

My condolences Mr. Sarvas.

Troy Guindon


I received a letter from Mike Caltrider earlier today informing me of your father's passing, and I was very saddened. Like your father, I too collected MG toy cars, but I only focused on MGAs. I did quite a bit of trading with your father, and I certainly learned a lot from him. There were times when we made each other very angry as we were fighting over the same car, but I always respected him and haven't got anything but good things to say about him.

I met your parents one weekend when several collectors were invited to the family house in NY to admire and drool over the largest collection in the world. It was my only time meeting him in person (although we spoke many, many times on the phone), but I got to enjoy breakfast and a very lovely day - he also sold me a few cars as well!

In closing, I'd like to express my condolences to you and the rest of your family, and I'd also like to tell you that the influence of your father certainly reached me here in Canada.

Troy Guindon

joy perla

Dear Mark,
I remember you and yoursister - Monika?- from Fresh Meadows when you played with Daniel and Debbie. Please accept my condolences. It is wonderful that you had a chance to talk and say goodbye. That is why many years ago I simply told my mom that I loved her - no occasion, no reason, just to say it. She turned 90 and every day is a gift. Cherish your memories and be there for each other.
Joy Perla

Don Haynam

I met your father at the Hershey auto show and I had quit a long period of negotations
with him.
When I first walked into his area I spoted a
model of an MG-TD much like the one I had just completed, and had seen the write up in the MG Enthusiast [May 1993] where his collection was reviewed.
That is when the back and forth began.He wanted $70 and I offered $50.
I left the area several times hoping that near days end he would accept my offer.
I still own the model along with the MG magizine discribing it's build.
I am saddened to hear of his passing and will always remember the good natured negiotations we had.
I will place the model in my hi-lite spot which will make me smile and my day a little brighter.

Don Haynam

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