The Elegant Variation: GUEST ESSAY: REVISIONING "THE GREAT GATSBY" (III)

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May 27, 2009

GUEST ESSAY: REVISIONING "THE GREAT GATSBY" (III)

Herewith, Part Three of Susan Bell's essay "Revisioning The Great Gatsby," which can be found in The Writer's Notebook: Craft Essays from Tin House, and is reprinted here courtest of Bell and Tin House. Bell is the author of The Artful Edit.

Fitzgerald edited his way out of this clump once Perkins pointed it out to him. He broke up the thick block of data into smaller pieces he judiciously distributed throughout the text and enmeshed in the dialogue and drama. The improvement can be seen in the confrontation between Gatsby and Tom. In the manuscript, this scene carried no reference to Gatsby’s Oxford claim or his army career; in the revised proof, Fitzgerald fully explains and seamlessly weaves the Oxford and army stories into the drama. The final version reads:

Gatsby’s foot beat a short restless tattoo and Tom eyed him suddenly.

“By the way, Mr. Gatsby, I understand you’re an Oxford man.”

“Not exactly.”

“Oh, yes, I understand you went to Oxford.”

“Yes—I went there.”

A pause. Then Tom’s voice, incredulous and insulting:

“You must have gone there about the time Biloxi [a poseur who’d falsely claimed he’d gone to Yale] went to New Haven.”

Another pause. A waiter knocked and came in with crushed mint and ice, but the silence was unbroken by his “thank you” and the soft closing of the door. This tremendous detail was to be cleared up at last.

“I told you I went there.”

“I heard you, but I’d like to know when.”

“It was in nineteen-nineteen. I only stayed five months. That’s why I can’t really call myself an Oxford man.”

Tom glanced around to see if we mirrored his unbelief. But we were all looking at Gatsby.

“It was an opportunity they gave to some of the officers after the Armistice,” he continued. “We could go to any of the universities in England or France.”

I wanted to get up and slap him on the back. I had one of those renewals of complete faith in him that I’d experienced before.

The editor had helped the writer reconceive the information as dramatic.

Fitzgerald obliged his editor with no hint of defensiveness or anger. The writer had gone very far on his own with Gatsby and was ready for the last editorial push—one he freely admitted he was incapable of envisioning alone. He wrote to Perkins, “Max, it amuses me when praise comes in on the ‘structure’ of the book—because it was you who fixed up the structure, not me. And don’t think I’m not grateful for all that sane and helpful advice about it.” In fact, it was Fitzgerald who did the fixing, but the writer needed his editor to point the way and was not embarrassed to say it.

It helped to have an editor as astute and courtly as Perkins and one who knew how to balance general commentary with specific suggestions. It was Perkins who pointed out the importance of the character-defining phrase “old sport,” when in a letter he wrote: “Couldn’t you add one or two characteristics like the use of that phrase ‘old sport’?” Fitzgerald had used the phrase only four times; now he ran with it. In the revised proof, Jay Gatsby says “old sport” incessantly and through it displays an absurd yet endearing self-consciousness. The phrase eventually becomes a spoil of war for Tom and Gatsby:

“That’s a great expression of yours, isn’t it?” said Tom sharply.

“What is?”

“All this ‘old sport’ business. Where’d you pick it up?”

And a few pages later, Tom shouts, “Don’t you call me ‘old sport’!” Fitzgerald, then, edited an ornamental detail so that even as it remained ornamental, it would matter. “Old Sport” had been a cute effect: now it was Gatsby’s weapon, armor, and Achilles’ heel in one.

(Essay concludes tomorrow.)

Posted at 12:20 AM in Guest Bloggers | Permalink

Comments

I love this series - it's incredibly interesting to see the editing process of The Great Gatsby

Posted by: Lauren | May 27, 2009 at 07:02 AM

Not to be confused with the 1939 novel "Gadsby" a book of over 50,000 words none of which contain the letter "E".

Posted by: Ned Harkey | May 27, 2009 at 07:44 AM

Very, very interesting.

Posted by: Pamela | May 27, 2009 at 08:34 AM

Revision is not a verb.

Posted by: Justin | May 27, 2009 at 02:33 PM

Very insightful regarding the relationship between a great American editor, Perkins, and an equally great American writer, Fitzgerald. A similar series on Perkins/Hemingway would be equally fascinating.

Posted by: drm | May 27, 2009 at 06:44 PM

Justin,
Certainly it is used here as a play on words akin to T.S. Eliot's "visions and revisions." Cheer up! Words are fun!

Posted by: Jack Pendarvis | May 28, 2009 at 09:33 AM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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The Elegant Variation

A Literary Weblog.
A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog
"Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

May 27, 2009

GUEST ESSAY: REVISIONING "THE GREAT GATSBY" (III)

Comments

MY NOVEL

WORTHY READINGS

TEV DEFINED

RECOMMENDED

THIS GUN FOR HIRE:
Reviews & Criticism

SECOND LOOK

Categories

The Elegant Variation

A Literary Weblog. A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog "Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

May 27, 2009

GUEST ESSAY: REVISIONING "THE GREAT GATSBY" (III)

Comments

MY NOVEL

WORTHY READINGS

TEV DEFINED

RECOMMENDED

THIS GUN FOR HIRE: Reviews & Criticism

SECOND LOOK

Categories

A Literary Weblog.
A Guardian Top 10 Literary Blog * A Forbes "Best of the Web" Pick * A Los Angeles Magazine Top Los Angeles Blog
"Really brave ... or really stupid" - NPR

THIS GUN FOR HIRE:
Reviews & Criticism